tonight...

tonight... the day i was born... 19 years ago...
i wonder whats in store for me... i dunno..
all i know is that the tonight... I'll be alone..
like I've been for the past 19 years...
cool... hahhah... looking forward to tomorrow...
have no idea whats in store...
i wonder... will my birthday wish come true?
if it does...
well..
it won't...
i should not kid myself...
no matter...
i have to thank the peenuts... you guys...
thanks for pulling me out... opening my eyes..
thanks for waking me up...
thanks for making me a red(ouch) indian... hahhah
i love you guys to bits...
smarties!!!!!

Cryings blades of steel...

hey...
Life is wierd...
very wierd...
my friends are finding love of their lives...
i just wish i can find one...
hahhah... stupid me...
i am being stupid ain't i?
well... just too bad...
i shall just carry on living lonely...
mhmm... lonely Valentine...
here i come...

Tears...

Loneliness- Westlife
Loneliness is always looking for a friend
It found me once and it has been around since then
Loneliness is never waiting by the door
It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored
Why, why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

[Chorus]
The love of my life, the love that I need
The love that they say is in life for free
The love of dreams, the love that I want
Loneliness knows me by name

Loneliness knows everything I keep inside
My endless thought in the silence of the night
Loneliness is the one who made me see
Ain't nobody else who can make a change but me
Why, why was I chosen?
Why am I left without?

[Chorus]

Life is more and that would be the vacant space
The cried out tears and a never ending maze
I have found what only loneliness provides
A strength within knowing I will find

[Chorus] x 2

___________________________________


Its time to move on...
It really is...
She loves him...
Why torture myself...
Just need time...
Something i have obsessed about...

She Loves Him...
Not Me...
I have to remember...
I need to forget...

....................

I love pain

hmm

blogger is slow today...
but, my day was made today...
though it was broken at first...
FIE FIE YOU DIE... never call xia...
still at macs la... waiting...
nvm.. stupid girl..

A Repeat

very short post... to feel pain is good... it means you are alive and you will make it through...
pain... is what separates reality and fantasy...
pain is what keeps me real..
pain is what keeps me cool
pain is what keeps me calm
pain is what keeps me collected...
pain is what personifies me...
its who i am...
its who i will always be...
pain is a constant reminder...
to keep my distance...
i love pain...

DRAINED

OH Man... i am so damn drained... yeah seriously...
i hanged with arfie din bryan and salleh this time around...
quote arfie"Whenever we Hang out... Its more than 2 hours"
Yeah balls... the other day it was close to 24 hours...
woohoo... i love talking to them... i mean i havent talked so much in so long...
and we just don't stop talking... we don't..
Well... i got to get some sleep...
update more another day...
BTW... still pissed at benny....

hmm

wow... what a day... spent it with me closest buddies... b4 that... HAPPY B-DAE GWEN AND BERT... kool man... spending time with dudes i hardly had time for the past year... but things are changing... woohoo... well this post is sorta to let of some more steam so here goes...

Tomorrow... i finish at 5.45... after THAT... i gotta go see benny... why?? to reaffirm who bought or did not buy the og pakages... ALONE!!!!... pissed... but as he is my teacher.. i have to obey... hmm... if he were'nt... he would be dead... i will drain hiss blood into a container... after i emtomb him in an iron maiden... the blood will be used as a symbol of the inclean... for that is who he is...

actually thats all i have for today... muwhahahaha... i will definitely post about the nitemare that i would probably go thru tomorrow... yep... touche` people... touche`

MADDENING

Irresponsible... i have not heard that word for a long time... a very long time... i hate that word... epecially when uttered from the mouth of a contemptuous jerk who knows not the difference between behind the scenes and obvious... a person who attempts to butter up potential people of power... just to have a glimmer of hope that he might accend to a better place... well... fuck you... you are going to rot at the deepest foulest regions of this country and you will squirm in a void that is devout of contentment for you... for you have angered the gods in your attempts to desacrate my image... you have angered GODLEFTHAND™ and the walker of the darkside of life... SHADOWALKER™... you are a fool to think you can bolster a positive image when you image was already predetermined when you set foot on this planet... it is my resolute vow that you shall perish before my eyes... you will be set ablaze in the fires of hell... and you will freeze in the deepest regions of the artic... you shall know no peace and respect as long as i live....

woohoo... that was a good rant... that mofo of a person.. well.. i respect miss chan more than i will ever respect your sorry piece of a person... she is not even in the same league as you... you can just go eat your own shit... you will never have my respect... not after those words that were uttered out of your mouth... i never took miss chan for granted... not ever... you will learnt the hard way... why i can be the biggest asshole you have ever met... touche`... benny... touche`..

new year

... its the new year... a new beginning... and the closing of an another chapter... and i guess... i am leaving the dream behind... i feel that... i wun make it... The girl is trying so hard to go back... i got no heart to try... to stop her... no heart at all... no confidence.... maybe i am a loser... i big one... woohoo... i guess that this is good bye...